UD-konsul Elisabeth Ellingsen klikker: «I hate russians!»

I morges ble jeg kontaktet av russiske KGB, som ringte og sa de hadde noe kult.

– Hellå. Dis is spescial aigent Sergej Ivanov fråm Kremlin. We lov website. Could you pliz do feivor?

– Hello Sergej. Is this like in the spionfilm? I have always dreamed of being in a spionfilm. That sounds very spennende out. What can I do for you Sergej?

– Good. Good. We hev veri fonni videå of stopid norwejian womman. She go krezi, yes. Skhodit’s uma. She prubbobly too moch voodka, yes. Kodd you plis pobblisj vidyjå in Nårvej, yes?

– I see. That sounds artig ut. Just send me the video and I will pubbliser it after fixing some steinsprut in my frontrute.

– Good. Good. Yes. Otlichno. You no tell you got video frum here no. This veri secret happenings be happening yes, not happened no.

– Sure, sure. You can trust me, Sergej. But what do I get from this?

– How if wee let you sneeak in breadline. Put you in sistem as extra good top citizen. Europe soon run out of food, yes.

– I want more than that, Sergej. I will need to reparer my frontrute.

– We giv you meni rubels. Buket full of rubels. Send it via meil. Sounds good, yes?

– Yes, yes. That sounds very good Sergej. I’ll be waiting for my bøtte full med rubels, then.

– Good. Excelljent. We heav deal, yes.

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